I guess I was destined to be a Counselor for as long as I can remember. I am the son of two generations a funeral directors (I know!). Some of my earliest memories are of watching my parents care for grieving families. It taught me what is truly important in life and allowed me to learn the art of caring for people… even during their most difficult moments. While owning a funeral business wasn’t for me, caring for people still is.
a way, life is about discovering your calling and finding a way to survive while you do it! For the first 13 years after college, I worked in ministry. During that tenure I did more and more Counseling and started studying Psychology to get better at it. That led to Doctoral study at Rosemead School of Psychology in Los Angeles in 1996. I think Rosemead is one of the best Psychology programs anywhere. It’s academically stringent, research-based, immensely practical and faith friendly. My mentor was Dr. Bruce Narramore. It was an awesome experience. But was not easy. It required flying from my home in Phoenix to study in Los Angeles every week. When the Arizona School of Professional Psychology finally opened in Phoenix, I transferred there in 1998.
I was the first class president of AzSPP, finished my Masters and did 56 additional doctoral study hours. I also helped the school achieve its APA Accreditation (American Psychological Association).
But in the year 2000, with only 12 hours left to complete my Doctorate, my life hit the wall. I went through a devastating divorce. I lost everything (including the opportunity to finish my Doctorate) and had to rebuild my life and career all at once. At times it didn’t seem possible to create a meaningful life again, but what else can you do but try? So I studied everything there is about how to get past the pain of love loss and create a great love life again.
I learned that tough times aren’t forever. They’re like fertilizer a better life, if you learn to think right and act right instead of depending on your emotions to tell you how bad your life is. Even after an F5 life event, we can think right and act right. Eventually we’ll feel right if we do. But If we get overwhelmed with negativity, inaction and hopelessness we believe the junk our distorted emotions cough up when we’re hurting. We imagine a negative future and add that pain to a painful (but temporary) sense of loss. It’s bad enough to go through hard times. But if we imagine our future is ruined, it adds all kinds of imaginary pain into an already painful situation.
Through trial and error, I learned how to rebuild my life. I’ve had some great successes, some failures and have made enough mistakes to figure out how to live life successfully, by continually growing as a person. I’ve learned that you can’t do anything about your past, but you can use the present to create a future you want to be in.
I began my new career in Psychology in 2000 by writing a book on overcoming love loss, called “Heartbreak No More” and came to Tulsa to record the audio book. I intended to return to Phoenix, but the Tulsa World did a news story about the success of the program and my counseling practice exploded.
So, for two decades now, I’ve lived in Tulsa! I’ve been an Adjunct Professor at Tulsa Community College, trained other Counselors through St. John’s Hospital and toured the state speaking for the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative. But my true passion is still being a Licensed Professional Counselor for hundreds of adults kids, couples and families. The end of each work day still leaves me thankful and satisfied. In the past three years we’ve added telehealth video Counseling to our practice and I’ve become a National Board Certified Neurofeedback Provider (BCIA BCN). Neurofeedback is incredibly helpful for people and has expanded the effectiveness of what we do.
Now for the really good part! After nine years being single I met Katie. I knew within 15 minutes that I would probably marry her! We’ve been together every day sense. She’s the greatest blessing in all the rebuilding. She shares my passion for people and we’re always thinking of new ways to create our future. I’m honored to love her and be loved by her.
Katie has worked in radio and television since she was a kid. She’s currently the cohost of the morning show for KXOJ radio in Tulsa (6 to 10 AM every morning on 94.1). She was recently voted the top DJ in Tulsa and she loves her job as much as listeners love her.
Together we share a deep appreciation for great architecture, good food, travel, comedy and movies. Katie‘s been watching tiny house videos and Sprinter van conversion videos. She wants to build an RV she can drive. She’s also been watching and making macramé videos and teaching macramé classes at the succulent shop in Broken Arrow. She still a fan of romantic comedies. Meanwhile I’ve been learning to play the bass guitar and studying digital photography.
Both of us still enjoy watching documentaries, learning about history and reading biographies. We’re always remodeling our office building at 71st and Sheridan (it never ends) and I write and record music in our recording studio. We enjoy the company of great people and hanging out with our Chihuahua. Life is good.
Thanks for taking time!
Here’s to the great life ahead… waiting for you to get healthy enough to enjoy it.
Are you ready to take the first step?
Letting Go of the Past Not Living in it
Whether we like it or not, the past is gone. Whether good or bad, you can't change it. You can simply learn from it move toward the creation of a better life by building a better version of yourself. When you do, you find happiness is yours to create
Imagining a Great Future
One of the greatest gifts we have is the ability to imagine a future that we'd love to be in. What we dream of doing and being is one of the key clues to finding our true purpose and callings in life. Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.
Working in the Moment
A great life isn't built in a day. It's made by consistent movement toward the person you're created to be. It's made by a 1000 tiny decisions a day to build something great with your life and feeling joy, or avoiding it and feeling depressed.
Seeing the Bigger Picture
I believe God is at work in the midst of our lives in a supra-rational way, using every decision we make to lead us toward a better version of who He created us to be. He was there in the beginning. He will be there in the end. He is here with you now.
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